Gottman Relationship Builder

Short Lessons. Big Shifts. Real Connection.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman have spent 54 years transforming relationships with proven, science-backed approaches. The Relationship Builder brings their research and teaching into your home through short, practical lessons to help you manage conflict, build intimacy, and create lasting love.

Watch them demonstrate relationship skills in 90 short teaching videos, and practice what you learn together with 41 guided exercises.

Modern love needs modern tools. The Gottman Relationship Builder guides you step by step toward stronger communication and deeper connection

Learn. Talk. Practice.

Each module combines teaching with opportunities to apply what you're learning together. You'll see funny, relatable examples of what goes wrong, followed by heartwarming examples of what happens when couples get it right.

Learn: Watch a short teaching video that explains a relationship concept or skill.

Talk: Use guided reflection questions to explore the topic together and learn more about each other's perspectives.

Practice: Try an exercise designed to help you put the skill into action.

A couple laughing and learning new skills through online videos from the Gottman Relationship Builde

What's Included

90 short teaching videos
Watch engaging, professionally produced lessons featuring Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman.

41 guided exercises
Put the concepts into practice with structured activities you can complete together.

Reflection questions
Use thoughtful questions to start conversations, understand each other's perspectives, and explore important areas of your relationship.

Real-life demonstrations
Watch relationship skills play out in relatable scenarios, including examples of common missteps and more effective responses.

Lifetime access
Return to the program whenever you want and revisit the material as your relationship grows and changes.

Megan Haase of SLO Couples Therapy smiling at camera in her home office

How the Relationship Builder Is Different

The Relationship Builder is only available through trained Gottman therapists and gives couples access to educational material and exercises that are not available for purchase through the Gottman Institute's website.

14 Modules to Explore

You'll explore topics including:

Building friendship
Expressing fondness and admiration
Showing up for each other
Managing conflict
Making life dreams come true
Trust
Commitment
Shared meaning
Repairing after conflict
Emotional connection
Finding joy together
Effective listening
Flooding and emotional regulation
Enriching your sex life

You can work through the program from beginning to end or focus on the topics that are most relevant to your relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do we have to complete the program in order?

No. You can work through the modules in order or choose the topics that are most relevant to your relationship.

Can we use the Relationship Builder if we're already in couples therapy?

Yes. The Relationship Builder can complement couples therapy by giving you additional education and exercises to practice between sessions. Talk with your therapist about how the program could fit with your therapy.

Do we need to take the Relationship Checkup first?

No. The Relationship Builder is a standalone program. The Checkup can be useful if you'd like a more detailed assessment of your relationship and recommendations about areas to focus on, but it isn't required to use the Builder.

How long do we have access?

You have lifetime access to the Relationship Builder, so you can return to the videos and exercises whenever you want.

Will this help with situations involving abuse, addiction, or crisis?

The Builder is not designed for relationships with ongoing abuse/safety concerns, couples in crisis needing immediate help, or situations involving active addiction or ongoing affairs (individual therapy is recommended first).